11 Sep 2015

Catherine Shoard Appreciation Society

We, at the C.C.A.S., stand on our platform not waiting for a train but for Peter Bradshaw to shut the fuck up and let Catherine speak. We believe at this point in the evolution of life that there is no more pressing issue than what colour cardigan Catherine will wear next week.

Are you of our finely attuned mind?

Feel free to join our number and breathe our rarefied air…with us. (You know... the same air.) Our aim is to become a cult (Easy on the Dionysian, please, tea and pasties will be just fine.) while still holding onto our penises both metaphorically and literally. Like the Guardian Film Show itself our activities range from the charming (Ms Shoard) to the clich├ęd and unimaginative. (Bradshaw) These include and are strictly limited to:

1)   Reviewing the reviews, with an unapologetic bias towards Catherine’s.
2)   Throwing popcorn at the screen and booing when Peter speaks.
3)   Bathing in Catherine’s alabaster glow.
4)   Roasting Benjamin Lee (After we’ve rubbed in the suntan lotion, naturally.)

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