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| (Above) A scene from the very good 'Black Mirror." Obviously not the sort of show you'll see on UncoolTV (Below) Network, 1976.  |
Uncool TV
I’ve seen the past of technology and its name is television.
I’ve seen the past of technology and its name is television.
So starting tonight, broadcasting from an abandoned hotel beside
the Suzhou Creek, homeless fisherman permitting, and using only the cheapest of
technology to save funds for high quality programming; my latest foray into
retro kitsch: Uncool TV
Check the links to sample some of the televisual goodness only showing
on Uncool TV.
Viewing Guide(29/02/87)
Viewing Guide(29/02/87)
6.20pm:
GTS/BKN News- Presented, possibly from beyond the grave
but with the hairpiece safely in place, by Bruce Bennetts*
(*This was the local TV station of my childhood. Anything I dream up as satire couldn't touch them, they were peerless in their ineptitude.)
6.30pm:
The late, great Patrick Cargill in “Heil Honey I’m Home.” See
Adolf and Eva as they really were, just a loveable pair of goofy honeymooners.
7.00pm
It’s Australia’s own “ Hey Dad “, to paraphrase
Dann Lennard it’s about as funny as paedophilia, and now we know why!
It’s actually too shit a program to include a link to; so here’s Parsley Sidings instead.
7.30pm
“Kirk Cameron Saves Christmas” See if Kirk can save Christmas before Dames
can jerk off over Kirk. ( My money’s on you , Kirk. Swoon.)
9.00pm
“Molly”- Australia picks up again on the trend of
cheesily retooling retro pop idols. Guess what? It’s execrable!
10:00pm
“TJ. Hooker”: William Shatner shows the acting chops and
discretion in selecting material that made him second banana
to only one man on 80’s TV. (David Hasselhoff.)
11:00pm
“Point of View” with BA Santamaria. I needed to jerk off
again, so I put this cutie on. (Now he’s dead BA just lies there, in my fantasy, complacent and
compliant.)
Oh, talk aberrant to me again BA!
11:10
“Cradle to the Grave.” At uncool TV we like to leave the
worst to last. Here it is: “C.t.t.G. “ About lovable
rogues doin’ it ‘ard but ‘appy in their cool threads and their ‘ardness. (Would you like some saccharine with that
saccharine?) In the parlance of its protagonists: this is a load of old wank
and bollocks barely worthy of the heady title "dramedy". Make sure you have your
slippers on(So they don’t damage the big screen that you won on a particularly good night at the dogs, as you throw an exasperated piece of foot apparel at the box.) then slip into the
nightmare that is British, middle of the road, family, nostalgic
“entertainment.”
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| Peter Kay redefining Cockney understatement in" C.t.t.G." |
11:40
Station Close
Uncool TV.
We deliver on our
promise.
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| Station mascot from a GMO farm in NZ. |
I can see that you are an expert at your field! I am launching a website soon, and your information will be very useful for me.. Thanks for all your help and wishing you all the success in your business. What TV is right for me
ReplyDeleteThis is very interesting content! I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your points and have come to the conclusion that you are right about many of them. You are great. lc-50lb481u
ReplyDeleteYou're too kind, but obviously please don't stop.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure that my point about where to find accommodation on the banks of Suzhou Creek is one I'm right on though.