UnCool World

Uncool World

I’m starting the Beverly Hills Vegan Diet, it stipulates you only eat cow that is so fat it dies, quite naturally, at 3 months, from a heart attack.

So uncool it’s outrageous*

It’s 10 months since Anthony was sent to the crematorium; so, they might have the flames under control by now.

More on the burning of homosexuals question.

War, war is stupid and culture club are stupid…and in an escalation in their battle against innate biological behaviour the Kremlin has announced that all defecating and urination, both public and private, is now illegal.

Speaking from his private Aeroflot airbus, en route to an undisclosed destination, President Putin declared:

“ In this, as in all things, we will display balance and sanity, in equal measure;  and,  we state again that ours are moderate actions in comparison to the movements in the bowels of power of religious theocracies.”

I left a little piece of myself in China

“ It’s  her professionalism that I love.”

Bill Murray on his affection for Steve Martin.

Tuesday morning and it was off to the dentist. (The rush hour in Zhen Ping  Station could have done with a few more people. That's my  considered advice; the logistics  I'll leave to some one else.) Despite appearances to the contrary, I don’t enjoy dental pain; I’m no epicurean : I endure dental pain…regularly. I  found myself at the dentist’s surgery , for the 5^th time in a month, with out surprise. (I mean, I had an appointment. )

Starry accompanied me; I looked across as he  was busy on the phone. I lay there with a suction hose and cotton wool in my mouth, and it struck me then that I may not be looking my best. I thought of selling an idea for beauty makeovers done to patients whilst in the dentist’s chair. Surely that would sell to the makers of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? (A program I’ve not  seen more than 30 seconds of, despite its obvious appeal.) I imagined a coiffured, perfumed woman, with botox in her fingernails, pushing the dentist aside gently, and saying:

 “Really, I think lip gloss is more important now; don’t you. pet ?”

I struggled through ,with out the aid of a beautician. At the dentist’s behest, I popped along for my 4^th X-Ray in a month. My mind wandered  to the former USSR; and I recalled a Chernobyl era documentary about Russian Nuclear power plants. In the program, to demonstrate the safety of his antique plant, a man had been drinking water from a pool of used fuel rods. I spent a solicitous moment concerned for his health.

After that, I was back in the chair for the final stretch; as I reclined, I pondered the dentist’s eyes. Would it be unprofessional to comment on how beautiful they were ? This reverie was interrupted by the sudden appearance of 2 more pairs of eyes. An old man and his wife were displaying keen interest in my oral cavity and the dentist. I intuited that this was not a family visit, but an enquiry as to when the dentist would be free. Obviously, it was not decorum that stopped me informing the lovely oldies that, at the moment, she was not.

(Despite my satirical tone; the dentist I visited , the medical facilities everywhere, and the professionals looking after my little health issues, have all been brilliant, in China.)

Next post, Man from Uncool shows he cares and does  a little healing for you, too

Latest in my series on Party propaganda statues I've had crushes on.

*A former drinking buddy died last year.